


Love's Peak Academy

by CreepE



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Probably ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-07-25 10:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7529917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepE/pseuds/CreepE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of a killing game, Naegi is given another choice. Convince every person in the school that he's in love with them and they can all graduate! There's no way something like that could ever lead to despair, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Kind of Game

**Author's Note:**

> ****SPOILERS FOR ALL OF DR1****  
> I'll post one chapter per person (they probably won't be all that long) and one ending chapter.  
> It's a crack fic, basically.

Naegi scowled down at his sneakers, trying to crush his rising feeling of despair. He’d been so excited to start school at the beginning, but what Monokuma had just told them all utterly destroyed his excitement. A killing game? Trapped forever? Only one way out? He didn’t want to believe it. No… he _couldn’t_ believe it!

“I won’t kill anyone!” he yelled aloud, leaping from his bed, his fists clenched. “None of us will!”

“You really think so?”

“Of course! I—huh?”

Naegi froze, then stumbled and tripped back onto his bed, raising his hand defensively. Monokuma had suddenly appeared in front of him, and was watching him brightly, head cocked to the side quizzically. At Naegi’s reaction, he let out one of his creepy chuckles.

“Upupupupu! So nervous! I told you already, I won’t be killing any of you if you don’t break the rules—you’ll be doing all the killing. Unless… you didn’t think I was going to do something dirty to you, did you?”

Naegi lowered his hands and shook his head, flustered.

“N-no, I just—”

“So innocent looking, but you’re actually the dirtiest one of all, aren’t you? Thinking about this and that… but you know, as the headmaster I can’t allow my students to think or perform such acts. It must be Pure. High School. Love!”

“I don’t really know what you’re talking about, but you’ve got it all wrong,” Naegi finally managed to get in. Monokuma didn’t really seem to be listening, however; one paw was raised thoughtfully to his chin and he seemed to be… shaking. His shaking grew and grew until he began that stupid chuckle again.

“Upupupupu! Interesting idea, Naegi-kun!”

“B-but… I didn’t say anything…”

“You don’t want to kill your friends do you? You think love is more interesting than death? Normally, I wouldn’t agree but I’ve seen love bring beeeyuuuutifull despair. Alright then, you win this round, Naegi-kun.”

Naegi still wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but whatever point Monokuma had just conceded to him sounded good if it meant he didn’t have to kill anyone.

“So… you’re saying we don’t have to kill each other?”

“Not exactly. But the death part will come later. For now, here’s the new goal, just for you. If you can confess to every person here, girl and boy, and make them believe that you’re 100% totally in love with them, you might have a chance at stopping the killing game.”

“ _Might_ have a _chance_? That’s kinda—”

“Shh! Here are the special rules, just for you:

 

  1. Each person must truly believe you’re in love with them
  2. No one can find out that you confessed to anyone else
  3. You can’t tell anyone about this game
  4. If you manage to make everyone believe you love them without revealing this game, we’ll have a _certain vote_ at the end
  5. If everyone votes correctly in the _certain vote_ , every person you confessed to will graduate
  6. I can add more rules whenever I feel like it!”



 

Naegi frowned at the end of the rules. Something was bothering him about the whole thing. No, a lot of things were bothering him, but there was something Monokuma had said that was _really_ bothering him.

“What—”

“No more questions!” Monokuma yelled, his claws sliding out as he waved his paw threateningly at Naegi. “All you have to do is answer whether or not you agree. If you do, you can start your super secret mission. If not, we can start the killing game! What’ll it be, Naegi-kuuuun?”

There was still a lot about this whole thing that was disturbing, but Naegi didn’t see any other choices. He couldn’t let the killing game begin, even if there was no way anyone would really kill another one of their classmates. The only choice was—

“I agree.”

“Then let the game begin! I look forward to your despa—er, love, Naegi-kun.”

With that, Monokuma disappeared and Naegi was left alone. _At least the only thing I can die from in this game is embarrassment_ , Naegi thought. If only that were true.


	2. Sayaka Maizono

Of course, after Monokuma left Naegi was struck by the fact that he’d never confessed to anyone in his life. He had no idea where to start, what to do, and who he should choose first. How was he supposed to be convincing when he didn’t know anyone all that well and he had no idea how to confess? He sighed and made his way to the bathroom, fiddling with the door to finally get it open then walking over to the mirror and staring himself down.

“I’m going to confess my love,” he said aloud, then jumped at how loud it sounded. His reflection scowled disapprovingly at him. Who should be first? Who would be the easiest to start with? Sayaka’s face flashed before his eyes. He’d known who she was when they went to school together, and she was famous enough for him to recognize her face on TV. Would it be that much of a stretch to say he’d had a crush on her since middle school? Probably not. It sounded like something from a cheesy novel, right?

“Sayaka-chan,” he began, wincing as his face immediately went scarlet in the mirror. But…! He had to do this…! In order to save his classmates…!

“Sayaka-chan, I like you.”

His head felt like it was going to explode and tears pooled in the corners of his eyes from keeping them open for so long. He blinked rapidly, drew a deep breath to ease the tension from his shoulders, and glared at himself in the mirror. _Get it together, Makoto_.

“Always… I’ve always liked you… or… I started liking you now? Seeing your courage? Um…”

He dug his fingers into his hair, tugging at it worriedly. Which one was more convincing? Argh! This was infuriatingly hard! No wonder he’d never confessed to anyone he’d liked back before Hope’s Peak. He must have instinctively known how stupid and ridiculous he’d sound. He tried to smooth down the stray lock of hair that always stood up, and it was then that a small knock sounded on his bedroom door.

He threw one last quick glance in the mirror—his face was still flushed and his hair was mussed from him running his fingers through it—before running to the door. He yanked it open to find Sayaka staring at him with wide, guileless eyes.

“Ah! Sayaka-chan!” Naegi practically shouted. He could feel sweat beginning to bead on his forehead as he stepped back and she walked into his room. He glanced quickly down the hall and spotted Kyouko staring at him from one end. She looked confused and thoughtful. Another glance showed Byakuya at the other end, who was watching him with haughty, narrowed eyes. Jeez, they looked suspicious. He jerked back into his room and shut the door behind him, exhaling loudly.

“Is everything alright?” Sayaka asked, tilting her head in concern. She truly was pretty, Naegi thought. Pretty, sweet, and someone who seemed to like him as a friend. He could probably fall for her if he was given more time, but the longer he took to do this the more suspicious everyone would get of each other. He leaned against the door and managed a smile.

“Of course! I’m glad you’re here, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Ehh? So I was the first person you wanted to talk to about this? That makes me super happy!”

Sayaka’s grin was infectious and Naegi couldn’t help but smile back. She was so cute. He could do this. He glanced at the bed, wondering if sitting down would help, but somehow he didn’t think sitting on his bed with a cute girl would make things any less awkward. So he straightened up and his smile faded as he fixed her with a serious gaze. Noticing the look, she straightened too.

“How do you properly confess to someone?”

…Was what Sayaka said. Naegi’s entire face heated.

“H-how did you…?”

“I can read minds,” Sayaka said, absolutely serious. Naegi blinked in shock. Wait, wasn’t that game over? Didn’t that mean she knew and he’d broken the rules? Had he failed before he could even start?

“Relax, it's a joke. I just have good intuition. Because I'm psychic! ...Ehehe. Kidding. Kidding!”

Sayaka stuck her tongue out and Naegi relaxed just a little.

“But if you wanna know the answer, it’s this,” Sayaka said, going back to serious again. “You do it from your heart!”

“From your heart?” Naegi asked. Didn’t that mean he had to actually like whoever he was confessing to? How was he supposed to like fourteen people? There was no way!

“Yeah, because if you do it from the heart, surely your feelings will get through, right?”

Naegi nodded. Then he closed his eyes for a second. He thought about how happy Sayaka had been in middle school, how everyone had loved her. He thought about how dedicated she seemed to her fans, and how hard she was trying to keep up her good spirits here. And she’d shown up to his room, right?

“Hey, do you remember saving a crane in middle school?” Sayaka suddenly asked. He opened his eyes to see her smile turn gentle as she gazed down at him. Naegi nodded; he hadn’t been sure she’d remembered him. It was incredible that she’d known who he was, as popular as she had been.

“I always wanted to talk to you after seeing that,” Sayaka said. “But we both graduated before I could. So even after all of this, even though I’d rather not be here… I’m glad I was able to see you again!”

“Sayaka-chan…” Naegi said in surprise. Being able to see the good in a situation like this was incredible. Sayaka was really amazing. Deep down, Naegi felt his skip a beat.

“I like you,” he blurted out. He immediately regretted it and dropped his eyes to his shoes, wishing he could sink into a hole. He should’ve said some preamble about how he’d had a crush on her in middle school or something, or how her words had touched him.

“Eh? You do?” he heard Sayaka exclaim. Her voice sounded kind of squeaky, but he didn’t dare look up to see what it meant. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Then… if this whole thing really is a killing game and we're going to die soon…”

He felt Sayaka’s hand under his chin and she tilted his head up until they were looking each other in the eyes. Then, to his complete and utter amazement, Sayaka leaned down and kissed him. It was just a quick peck on the lips, but it was still a kiss. No, not just any kiss… Naegi’s _first_ kiss.

“Wh-wh-wh-wh—” Naegi spluttered, but Sayaka seemed just as shocked and embarrassed as he was.

“M-me too,” she said with a quiet little giggle. Then she stepped around him and ran out into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. Naegi wondered if he was supposed to go after her, if that was what she wanted. But his legs seemed like they’d turned to jelly so instead he wobbled over and collapsed onto his bed. Sayaka had _kissed_ him! It was so totally—

“Dirty! What horny, hormonal students you all are!”

Naegi blinked and there was Monokuma, waving a chastising paw at Naegi.

“What a twist! I can’t believe anyone would like you like that! Are you for real? Is Naegi-kun Casanova?”

“N-no,” Naegi quickly denied.

“Upupupupu. Deny all you want, but after seeing how easy that was for you, I think we need to add another rule. Rule Number Seven!

 

  1. A true confession ends with a kiss!”



 

“No way! What kind of rule is that?!” Naegi yelled.

“Lucky, lucky, number seven~” Monokuma sang. “Because if it all goes as well as it did with Sayaka, it’ll be the **Ultimate Bore**. I could’ve never guessed Naegi-kun… Not only are you the **Ultimate Lucky Student** , but you’re also the **Ultimate Casanova**! Impressive, impressive!”

With that, Monokuma disappeared again, leaving Naegi sinking to his knees in shock. He had to kiss _everyone in the school_?

 

**13 STUDENTS LEFT**


	3. Kiyotaka Ishimaru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments and kudos/bookmarks, you wonderful fandom, you.  
> Also, I apologize in advance for this chapter. It's way longer than I'd planned and my chapters keep turning into a weird mix of serious and crack.

Naegi stood in front of his mirror for the second time since he’d come to the school, staring hard at his reflection. He didn’t know what Sayaka had seen in him; to himself, he always seemed to look young and immature, but whatever it was he hoped he could show it again for today’s confession.

“Today’s the day, Makoto,” he told himself, setting his jaw. Even with this serious expression, he still looked like a twelve-year-old. “Today’s the day you confess to another guy.”

Unable to decide who to confess to after confession to Sayaka, Naegi had carefully written down every name in the school except for Kyouko’s and Byakuya’s. Those two were so terrifying he couldn’t even imagine confessing, so he’d decided to leave them until the end, when he’d have the most experience. For now, he’d draw from the pool of less scary people and hope his good luck helped him somehow.

Up today was Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the one guy Naegi imagined he could become friends with in this school, mostly because Taka reminded him of a lunch supervisor he’d assisted back in middle school. Now whatever friendship he might’ve struck up would be inevitably crushed when he confessed and Taka decided he was absolutely nuts.

He sighed, turning and leaving to exit his room. It was way early to get to the dining hall where they’d all planned to meet, but he wanted to be the first one there to give him time to think. He wasn’t sure if anyone would even be up yet, but he needn’t have worried. One step out his door and he was leaping about ten feet into the air, his hands help up in an ‘I surrender’ as a figure stepped out of the shadows.

“Your reflexes are good, but your reactions aren’t,” Kyouko observed, studying Naegi with insanely observant eyes. He swallowed back fear, looking down at his feet so he wouldn’t have to meet with the full force of her glare.

“M-morning, Kirigiri-san,” he mumbled. She was scary, but not in a killing way. He had a feeling that she wouldn’t ever try to kill him, but she was also so intense that she felt like she was miles above him in a place he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. She tilted her head to one side, studying him some more with her gloved hands at her chin. She seemed slightly confused, but after a moment she shrugged and walked away.

Naegi let out a large breath of relief and walked quietly to the dining hall, his sneakers echoing in the large, empty space. This school was so creepy when there was no one around. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. There were so many dark little spaces where anyone could be—

“Naegi-kun,” a voice said and this time Naegi yelped, stumbling back and falling on his backside as someone stepped out of the shadows. He let out a groan, rubbing his back where he’d fallen, then froze when he saw who was glaring daggers at him. Seriously?! Why were all the scariest people out here this morning?!

“Hmph, it’s just as I thought; you’re completely useless in fight-or-flight situations. I shouldn’t have worried what a commoner like you was plotting with Sayaka last night,” Byakuya Togami said, before also turning to leave. Naegi watched him go, wondering what that was all about. Did Kyouko and Byakuya seriously suspect he’d do anything to Sayaka? The amount of suspicion in this place was crazy if _he_ was being put on the watch list. It was sort of disappointing to see people could think about each other that way.

“Ah, Naegi-kun!” yet another voice called, but this time Naegi was ready, having seen Taka leave the dorm hallways from across the room. He slowly got to his feet, wondering if he was truly the Ultimate Unluckster. He really hadn’t wanted to see Taka just yet, although now might be the best chance he had at setting up a time for a confession since everyone seemed to be up anyway.

“Taka-kun,” Naegi greeted as the straight-laced academic student came to stand at attention in front of him. He offered Taka a tentative smile, but Taka remained serious as always, looking Naegi up and down critically.

“Why were you lying in front of the dining hall?” Taka asked curiously, before his eyes widened a fraction and he answered his own question. “Of course! You must’ve been doing morning exercises, right? Limbering up before taking on the day? I like your attitude, Makoto Naegi! You’ll go far in life!”

“Um…” Naegi couldn’t burst Taka’s bubble now that the other boy looked so proud, so he simply nodded along. If he didn’t say anything, it didn’t count as lie. Probably.

“I feel like you and I are the only ones who get it, Naegi-kun,” Taka said seriously, although Naegi had no idea just what he was supposed to ‘get.’ He nodded again as he followed Taka into the dining hall to wait for everyone else. “We both work hard, get up early, and do our best every day. It’s the best way to be!”

“Well, it’s better than slacking off, for sure,” Naegi said cautiously, thinking of how he mostly played video games and lazed around at home. If he’d actually worked hard the way Taka seemed to, could he ever be the Ultimate at something? Somehow, he thought it took more than just hard work. There were lots of people who worked really hard, but they weren’t accepted to go here. Even though Taka could be classified as a ‘hard-worker,’ there was still that something _more_ about him that all the Ultimates seemed to have. It was truly admirable.

“—and then study all day!” Taka was saying, because apparently he’d been talking the whole time Naegi was thinking. Naegi felt sweat beading on the back of his neck as he thought about what he had to do, and he tried to seize the line of conversation to turn it into something that would productively help him.

“Speaking of studying all day, could you show me some studying tips?” Naegi asked, his mind racing ahead and making plans as quick as he could choke the words out. “We could study in one of our rooms so we wouldn’t be disturbed by any noises.”

There were definitely ulterior motives beneath Naegi’s words. Mainly, the fact that it would be easiest to secretly confess in a soundproof room. Taka, however, didn’t seem to think anything of Naegi’s blurted out, shaky voice, and he let out a loud approving laugh, slapping Naegi on the back so exuberantly that Naegi almost fell over.

“Already taking the initiative and planning ahead. What a team we’ll make! Once I’ve shown you all of the best study tips, we can go around educating everyone else so that we can turn this place into a real school. Let’s give it our all!”

“Y-yeah,” Naegi mumbled, feeling bad that he’d end up disappointing Taka with his lies. Taka could be a little too much sometimes, but he was actually a really good guy.

Eventually, after chatting about some sort of trigonometry that was advanced way beyond Naegi’s simple math skills, Naegi and Taka’s alone time was interrupted by people trickling in. Some were early and others were late, but the most noticeable thing was the absence of Sayaka. Everyone thought it was odd, but just as they were about to form search parties the Ultimate Pop Star ran into the room, looking prettier than ever with fresh makeup and a wrinkle-free uniform. When everyone asked her where she was, she blushed and cast a quick glance at Naegi before saying she’d slept in.

For the most part it was ignored, but Naegi couldn’t help notice the curious gazes of Kyouko and Byakuya all throughout the rest of breakfast.

\---

“Taka-kun?” Naegi called politely after rapping on Kiyotaka’s door. They’d agreed to meet for their study plans after getting freshened up, though when Taka opened the door Naegi wasn’t sure what exactly had changed. Taka’s uniform always seemed to be spotless even though he never took it off, so there wasn’t much for him to ‘freshen up.’

Taka stepped aside to let Naegi into the room, and Naegi had to hold back an impressed gasp. The room was orderly and faultless, just as he’d expected, but what was unexpected were the handmade charts Taka had pinned up all over the room. There were complicated math equations, astrology charts, world maps, famous Japanese poems… To be honest, it looked like Taka had raided a classroom and taken all of their posters to plaster on his walls. Naegi could actually picture himself learning in this environment, which he guessed was probably the point.

“Shall we get started?” Taka asked, and his voice was shades lighter than it had been since the day Naegi had met him. Although Naegi just wanted to confess and get it over with, he felt like he owed it to Taka to actually try some studying first. He moved over to stand beside the teen who would be his new teacher, and they spent the rest of the afternoon doing things that would actually be considered productive on the outside world. Naegi learned more in the few hours he spent with Taka than he’d learned all year at school. It was enough for him to forget his troubles and worries for once, and he was almost disappointed when Taka called for a break.

Disappointed, and nervous, because it was now or never. Sitting beside Taka’s bed, his hands fisting on his lap, Naegi’s mouth suddenly went dry. Confessing to a guy was a lot different than confessing to girl, mostly because Naegi had imagined that he’d confess to a girl someday so he’d had years of preparation. For confessing to Taka, Naegi felt like he was at a huge disadvantage. He’d never in a million years imagined himself confessing to a guy.

“Taka-kun,” Naegi began, just as Taka started speaking. Naegi had spoken so quietly Taka hadn’t heard him, so Taka continued on as if Naegi had said nothing.

“I’m glad I’ve finally found someone to study with,” Taka said with a blazing smile, looking like he was pumped up. “My entire life, I’ve tried to make friends, but it’s been extremely difficult. For some reason, people don’t like talking about studying the way I do! But you… you’re different, Naegi-kun. You listen to me, and you understand what fun really is!”

“Fun isn’t just studying,” Naegi pointed out, a little relieved to prolong the time before his confession. “It’s about doing something you love, even just as a hobby. It doesn’t always have to be productive.”

Taka stared at Naegi as if he were crazy, his brows furrowing as he shook his head.

“Studying is a hobby, and something I love. I mean, what else is there to do besides study?”

“There are tons of things to do besides studying!” Naegi yelped, shocked that Taka had to ask such a strange question. “I mean, there’s video games, and television shows, and sports, and books, and, and… there’s so much other stuff to do! Haven’t you ever done any of it? You make a ton of friends doing those things!”

Taka blinked as if the thought had never occurred to him. He reached up and tugged at his collar suddenly, his face growing pale as he thought over what Naegi had said. Naegi watched his face go various colours, until Taka finally slammed a hand down on his palm, making Naegi jump.

“I see!” he yelled out, as if he’d just discovered something amazing. “So what you’re saying is… if I want more friends, I should study these things?”

Naegi was speechless. Taka just didn’t get it, but he seemed so satisfied that Naegi didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble. He gave up with a troubled shake of his head, while Taka slapped his shoulder gratefully, grinning from ear to ear.

“Not only are you good at studying, but you’re also great at giving advice and making friends! You’re a great guy, Makoto Naegi! Just how much more is there to you under all of that—”

Taka gestured to Naegi’s entire self, and Naegi had to use every ounce of self control not to get offended. He knew what Taka meant; he was dressed lazily, his uniform not even up to the code of a regular school, so someone like Taka probably thought he seemed like a slacker pushover. The thought was just offensive enough for Naegi to get a little mad, and his anger was just enough for him to get a little brave.

“My crush on you,” Naegi said before his face went tomato red. He thought he heard the sound of a train, but it may have just been his brain compressing into nonexistence at the absolute worst confession he’d ever made. Granted, this was only his second confession, but it was still beyond horrifying.

“W-what?” Taka stammered, speechless for the first time since Naegi met him. So. Not only did Naegi have to have the stupidest confession in the world once. He had to have the stupidest confession in the world a second time because Taka needed him to repeat it to understand. Naegi buried his face in his hands, his shaky voice leaking out from between his fingers.

“You asked how much more there was, so I’m telling you. Under a-all of this, i-is a-a-also…” Damn, and he’d started out so well too. He was quickly losing containment. “M-m-my c-crush o-on y-y-y—”

He couldn’t even finish the sentence. There were so many emotions rushing behind his eyes that he wasn’t sure which ones were true and which ones were the product of embarrassment. Everything went completely silent except for the blood rushing through his ears, until he finally heard:

“Is this a confession?”

Naegi nodded shamefully, unable to look up. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what kind of expression Taka would be wearing. All he knew was that if a black hole were to open up in the middle of the room, he’d gratefully crawl into it so he could disappear from existence. Until he heard a loud, booming laugh.

“Naegi-kun,” Taka laughed, and Naegi finally peeked up through his fingers to see Taka looking… impressed. As if Naegi had just beat a Mathletes competition or something. Naegi could barely believe his eyes.

“You truly do pursue everything you do with the upmost vigour, don’t you? From your studies to your crushes… I’m impressed! Your confession has moved me, as a man. You have tried your best to win my affection, and I applaud your vigorous attempts!”

Yet again, Naegi wasn’t one hundred percent sure what Taka meant. Only that Taka had accepted his confession, so that part of this horror was over. Now only the worst part remained, and Monokuma hadn’t set any rules other than it had to end with a kiss. With only the slightest hesitation, Naegi reached up, grabbed a handful of Taka’s shirt, and pulled Taka down until their mouths could meet.

It was the most embarrassing moment of Naegi’s life. No, probably not just Naegi’s life—if Naegi took the most embarrassing moments of every single person’s life in the school and combined them, it still couldn’t equal the horror that this was. Because Taka’s mouth was still open in a laugh, and Naegi’s lips were slightly parted, and so he ended up kissing Taka’s teeth. Then, when Taka closed his mouth with an almost audible snap, it accidentally brought them closer together until their mouths were covering each other and Naegi could feel Taka’s sharp intake of breath rush from his own airway. It was sososososoweirdandawkwardandrunrunrun.

Naegi released Taka, vaulted over the bed, and bolted for the door, slamming it open before Taka could let out so much as a squeak. The detective duo—Byakuya and Kyouko—luckily weren’t both there to see him fumble frantically with his door as if there were a murderer after him, but Touko saw him, and he had a feeling her darling ‘Master’ would hear all about how Makoto Naegi freaked out and threw himself into his room with a beet-red face. Once inside, he sank down shakily on his knees, burying his face in his hands again.

There were probably better ways to steal a kiss than that, but Naegi hadn’t been thinking straight. He pressed one of his hands against his lips, thinking about the odd, ticklish feeling of breathing into Taka’s mouth and the intimacy of the moment. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t think about it. He couldn’t think about the way one set of lips fit differently than another, or the way two kisses could be so different yet both thrilling.

No. He wasn’t thinking that way. He wasn’t some adrenaline-kiss-junkie. No way.

Nonetheless, as he hid under his covers and tried to make himself go to sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he still had so many kisses to go, and a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder if he’d find them all just as exhilarating.

 

**12 STUDENTS LEFT**


	4. Celestia Ludenberg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but this is like a fun pet project of mine that I like to work on to de-stress. I don't want to finish it all at once and have nothing to laugh at, ehehe~  
> Speaking of laughing, I'm glad I could make you guys laugh a few times, that's the goal! xD Thank you so much for all of your support, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

_Celeste Ludenburg_. Of course, of all people Naegi could pick next, he had to pick the third scariest person in the entire school. As he slipped out of his room, his eyes rimmed red from stress, he wondered how exactly he was supposed to lie to the Queen of Liars. Nobody knew much about Celeste except for what she told them, and Naegi had a sneaking suspicion that everything she said about her backstory was a lie. Still, it wasn’t like he could accuse her to her face before he confessed to her, so there was no way he could get closer to her based on who she’d been before coming here.

He let out a long sigh, disheartened, as he pulled his door shut with a firm click. He was so not impressive enough for a girl like Celeste, who liked to be treated like royalty. Unless… hm, if she liked to be treated like royalty, couldn’t he just…

“Makoto-kun!” a sweet voice said in Naegi’s ear, and Naegi jumped a foot into the air. Well, it was better than ten feet and/or falling over. He swallowed nervously, turning to face the familiar voice, wondering what he was supposed to say. Sayaka looked even prettier than yesterday, her hair slightly curled and her eyelashes looking decisively longer than ever. Naegi’s entire body blushed, and he wondered if there’d ever come a time when he could face someone he’d kissed normally.

“Sayaka-chan. It’s um, it’s good to see you!” Naegi tried, wondering if his face looked as awkward as he felt. He needed to keep confessing to people without others finding out, so he had to find some way of getting rid of the people he’d already confessed to. No, that sounded really bad—he wasn’t going to _get rid_ of anybody, he was just going to find a way to make them leave him alone for a while. Damn, that sounded harsh too. Naegi internally sighed, feeling mean. He wanted to make it up to Sayaka for thinking so cruelly about her, even though she couldn’t read his thoughts. Or could she? Argh, things were confusing!

“Listen, Sayaka-chan,” Naegi said, his eyes darting down the hall to make sure no one was listening in. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone within earshot. “I have a big… erm… surprise for you. But it’s going to take me two weeks to get ready!”

He smiled, feeling a little less mean as Sayaka’s face grew happy and excited.

“So you’ll need to give me some time for that! Until then, I hope you can wait for me.”

“Of course!” Sayaka giggled, looking charmed and more than a little relieved. Had he worried her that much by ignoring her at breakfast? “In that case, I guess we can’t hang out today. It’s too bad, but I’m happy you’re still thinking of me, Makoto-kun!”

Naegi blushed again at Sayaka’s use of his first name, but as she skipped away, humming under her breath, he felt a little more confident. If he could make Sayaka that happy, he could definitely confess to Celeste! Somehow. Someway.

He had the slightest idea of how to do it in his mind, and he ran through scenarios as he made his way to the lunch room. When he was right outside the door, he quickly checked to make sure no one was waiting to surprise him. Good thing, too, because Taka was standing outside the door, fidgeting. All of Naegi’s confidence suddenly drained away and he wondered if the gods of luck could call down a black hole to swallow him up.

“Naegi-kun!” Taka said loudly, and they both jumped at his voice. “Naegi-kun, I was wondering if we could speak about yesterday. I… I need to know what exactly… I mean, this kind of thing is…”

Taka’s usual exuberance was replaced by an almost shyness, and Naegi was a little shocked that Taka was as nervous as he was. Of course, Taka had mentioned that he was better at studying than the whole people thing, so maybe Naegi shouldn’t have been surprised. Taka was good with rules and strictness, so…

“Taka-kun, when someone confesses to you, it’s customary to wait two weeks before giving an answer!” Naegi practically yelled, bowing his head so Taka wouldn’t see his flushed, lying face. There was a long pause, and Naegi risked a peek to see Taka looking relieved, smoothing his jacket as he avoided Naegi’s eyes.

“Ah, so there are rules to confessions?” Taka laughed awkwardly, and Naegi felt pretty bad about lying, even though it was necessary. He was saving everyone’s lives here! “I see. I see! Then I’ll follow the rule and think long and hard about how to answer! Thank you for giving me something to think about! In the mean time, I’ll look around for some materials to study on relationships and the like.”

“U-uh…” Naegi said, wondering why Taka was planning to study relationships. He wasn’t really serious about accepting Naegi’s confession, right? Naegi’s head was spinning with how complicated juggling even two people was.

“I will speak with you in two weeks, Makoto Naegi!” Taka said, bowing stiffly at the waist before turning and disappearing into the cafeteria. Naegi shook his head, baffled by this turn of events, but followed after Taka anyway. At breakfast he made sure to get the seat closest to Celeste, even though it made her eye him suspiciously. When they were finished and everyone had decided to go their separate ways, Naegi chased the Lolita-styled woman until she finally rounded on him with a creepy, cold smile.

“Is there something you need or are you just planning my death?” Celeste asked, as casual as if she were talking about the weather. Naegi stared at her in astonishment, and it took two tries to clear his throat enough to speak.

“You seem like the closest person to royalty in all of this school,” Naegi began, and was rewarded with a flash of triumph in Celeste’s eyes. “And… well, I’ve never told anyone this, but when I’m older, I want to be a butler.”

It was a blatant lie, and one Naegi thought Celeste might see right through, being the poker player she was. But either Naegi had a better poker face than he’d thought or, more likely, his embarrassment was so real that Celeste believed that it truly was his desire to become a butler. Her smile grew wider and she suddenly tilted her head back arrogantly, turning her nose up at him.

“I see. What you’re saying is, you wish to become an apprentice butler to me so that you’ll have experience for your later endeavours?” Celeste asked, and Naegi wasn’t sure whether she was thinking he was stupid or whether she was impressed. Or maybe, probably, both.

“Y-yeah…”

“As if I have time for someone such as yourself,” Celeste snorted, and turned to leave down the hall. Naegi stared after her in mute horror, feeling lost. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now that he’d blown it with Celeste. He could try for other confessions, but he needed to confess to everyone. This was—

“Well, are you coming or am I going to have to serve myself?” Celeste asked, turning around to arch an eyebrow at Naegi. There was a beat where he simply stared at her, unable to process what she was saying. Then he hurried to catch up with her, trying to look confident and butler-ish. Whatever that meant.

\---

The day passed by in a blur, and it one of the oddest, most tiring days Naegi had ever completed in his life. Celeste brought him to her room, but before he could manage a confession she forced him into her bathroom and brought him a too-large suit she’d had stashed from who knew where. Then she chuckled coldly as she used gel to slick his hair back, tugging at it so hard Naegi was sure the only thing keeping it on his head was the gel, because the roots were undoubtedly gone. Her final touch was to give him a set of vampire fangs, which fit awkwardly into his small mouth so that he couldn’t talk without his words being muffled.

“You’re not perfect, but I suppose you’ll do,” Celeste mused, clapping her hands together and looking him up and down. He felt like a clown, but he thought it’d probably be rude to say so, so he just went along with what Celeste wanted. He spent the day trailing after her, doing whatever she commanded him to. First, it was making her tea to utter perfection, which he somehow managed not fail at.

Then, it was blowing on each nail for her after she’d painted them her usual black. Then, it was bending down and shining her high red heels, one after the other. As he shined one, she’d rest the other one on his shoulder and he knew that all he’d have to do to see her panties was look up. The entire time, he kept his eyes studiously down and sweated nervously, wondering what she’d do if he dared. She seemed to find the entire thing hilarious, and she kept patting him on the head and saying ‘Good puppy.’

He was forced to refer to her as ‘My lady’ every time he addressed her, and the whole thing made him feel so low he was sure this was worse than being an actual butler. The one good thing that came of it was the fact that Celeste enjoyed secrets, and she agreed to keep his desire to be a butler one. She’d peek into every room and down every hallway to make sure no one was around, then let him follow after her as she flounced about like a queen.

The only time someone caught a glimpse of him was when he was sneaking around one corner and the door to Byakuya’s room opened behind him. He’d instinctively looked over his shoulder, and when his eyes met Byakuya’s, Byakukya did a double take. Shoooot!

Naegi chased after Celeste, telling her what had happened in frantic, fang-muffled whispers, and she’d shoved him into a closet before Byakuya could round the corner. Naegi waited there, his heart pounding, as he heard Celeste address Byakuya in a cool, amused tone. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Byakuya finally seemed to get annoyed and his deep voice faded away. Celeste opened the closet, letting Naegi out, and her entire countenance was one of triumphant glee.

“That Togami seems to think he deserves a butler even more than I do, but I put him in his place,” Celeste said, smirking. Naegi wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean—did that mean Byakuya knew it was Naegi dressed as a butler?—but he didn’t have time to ask, because the next thing he knew, Celeste was bringing him back to her room and getting him to shine every single surface.

At the end of the day, he was exhausted, limp strands of brown hung into his eyes, and he thought he’d lost at least five pounds running around on Celeste’s whims. Never in all his days of vegetating on the couch and playing video games had he imagined something like this would happen. There was nothing in his life that could’ve prepared him.

“Your final task of the day is to brush out my hair, puppy,” Celeste said dismissively, sinking gracefully onto her bed. Naegi was forced to crouch over her to brush her incredibly long curls out, and his face suddenly seemed to heat up ten degrees as Celeste watched his face the entire time with visible amusement. His fangs felt over-heavy in his mouth, and he considered finishing the brushing and heading back to his room, content to confess another day.

But then he’d probably have to spend another day doing whatever Celeste wanted him to, and the idea was so unattractive that he realized he absolutely _had_ to confess here. It was now or never. Preferably never, but that wasn’t an option, so actually it wasn’t now or never, it was just now. Unless, of course, they decided to play the killing game instead and—

_Stop stalling and do it, Makoto!_ he commanded himself; he was almost finished with Celeste’s silky curls. _You’re a man, one who’s already to confessed to another man, even! You’ve got this!_

“My lady,” Naegi said, trying to make his voice sound manlier. It sounded like a thirteen-year-old girl’s, and not just any thirteen-year-old girl’s, but one who had a mouthful of gauze due to an extreme dental procedure. Which was to say, not manly at all. Naegi wanted to cry, and he wanted a genie that could turn him into someone like Mondo or Byakuya.

“After spending the day with you…” he began, but it sounded so dumb with the fangs that there was no way he could give a huge speech about how he’d fallen in love with her because he was a masochist. Not that he actually was. Or at least, he didn’t _think_ he was.

“I like you!” he declared as clearly as he could in his most butler-like tone. Ohmygodthatwasbad. It had come out more ‘I rike chu,’ and now there was a strand of saliva hanging from his lips and it was so disgusting looking that a kiss was out of the question. This blush had began when he’d started confessing, and it had started right in the tip of his toes. As he confessed, it had spread up to his knees, making them shake, then up to his hips, locking them up so he couldn’t bend up or down, then to his arms, which were trembling and making a mess of Celeste’s curls. It finally ended in his face, and the world seemed to be spinning before his eyes as if he had a fever.

“Well, obviously,” Celeste said, her voice sounding distant. Naegi snapped back to himself, his eyebrows creased in horror, and his jaw dropped open so that the vampire teeth fell out of his mouth and dropped to the ground with a disgusting plop. Celeste frowned at them distastefully, then nudged them under the bed with one foot.

“In every royal story, the butler always falls in love with the Queen. I didn’t expect you to be able to resist my charms for long, because deep down, you’re actually a masochist, aren’t you?”

Celeste’s smile was so cold Naegi could feel in his bones, and his teeth started chattering nervously.

“I-I…” Naegi stuttered.

“Say it!” Celeste commanded, haughty and imperial.

“I am a masochist, my lady,” Naegi obeyed helplessly, cringing and cringing for a thousand years at how pathetic his voice sounded. Celeste covered her mouth with one dainty, pale hand and laughed. Then she grew utterly serious and pointed to the ground.

“On your knees,” she said, and Naegi dropped like someone had kicked his knees out from under him. He looked up at Celeste, sweat beading on the back of his neck as she stared at him as mesmerizingly as a snake. She leaned closer and Naegi thought for a second she was going bite into his throat because _she_ was the vampire, and he shut his eyes tightly.

Then he felt a slight pressure against his lips. He gasped at the contact, and as soon as his lips opened Celeste… well, she lived up to her French name. French kissing had always been a myth to Naegi, something he thought of as a far and distant star that he would never reach. Actually experiencing it, and having the other person be Celeste… it was seriously the most terrifying thing that had ever happened _ever_. Not meaning to, he made an odd sound in the back of his throat, and Celeste leaned back, her eyes as wide and impassive as they usually were.

“There’s your reward. Now go to your room like a good little boy and have sweet dreams about me.”

Naegi had to practically crawl the door, panting and freaking out like a real dog, and when he left the room he had to take about ten minutes to get his thoughts together. Then he pressed his face into his hands and internally screamed for five thousand years, because did the fact that he hadn’t found it too bad make him an actual masochist?

“Naegi-kun?” he heard a voice ask, and the topping on the cake was Kyouko, looking at him like she’d never seen him before. Naegi let out a squeak that was impressively girly, then leapt from his spot and practically kicked his door down to get away from Kyouko’s sharp eyes.

Slamming the door behind him, Naegi had only one thought in his head; he was well and truly going to hell for this, there was no doubt about it.

 

**11 STUDENTS LEFT**


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